Update

YEAAAAAAAH

This baby is gunna be an amazing frat boy

I was wondering why no-one applied

HA, so true

Religous

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Fat people

I'm MAGIC

`I had one of the coolest teachers in Highschool ever. He loved to play pranks and above all else, let us play pranks on each other.

Little background info on me. I didn't go to an overly large Highschool. I knew the name of everybody in my graduating class, and we were all good humored. Furthermore, because of the size of my class, pretty much everybody had a friend that was a teacher. Odd, I know.

The teacher in question is Mr. Kelleher. A Burger King loving, color blind, video game playing mentor who loved to single out my friend Gilmore for pranks and taunting. All in good humor mind you.

Gilmore

Kelleher

One day my friend Potter (Not Pictured) came to school with a "magic trick". The trick was this: You would come up to him and pick a card out of a deck, you would put the card back into the deck, he would snap his finger and point at one of your pockets telling you to check your pocket. In your excitement you would reach down to see if the card was in your pocket, only to be laughed at hysterically while Potter proclaimed "Ha!, You actually thought I could do it!". Then he would walk away while you stood there embarrassed.

During one of Potter's demonstrations of said "trick" Gilmore admitted that he wanted to do the trick, but to a victim that hadn't had it done to them. So we all told Gilmore to come back at a later time that day and we'd have someone to play the minor prank on.

Gilmore left excited.

When Gilmore left we all grabbed some random kid and told him what Gilmore was gunna do. We put a random card in his shirt pocket so that when Gilmore goes: "Look in your pocket!" the kid would ACTUALLY have a card in it.

The plan was made, we now had to wait till the end of the day to see the fruits of our planning.

End of the day came. Gilmore came into the classroom, all excited.

The random kid was sitting at a desk playing chess with Potter.

Gilmore walks up to the desk all confident and asks if 'Random Kid' wanted to see a trick.

Random Kid (RK) stood up and and said yes.

Gilmore started the trick off perfectly, having RK pick a car, putting it back in the deck,

but when it came to snapping his fingers like Potter did - Gilmore spazzed and threw all the cards at RK.

All the cards hit RK in the chest and Gilmore just stood there pointing at him waiting for him to actually check his pocket.

RK then reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out some random card.

Gilmore just stood there for a second, awe struck and pale.

After about 10 seconds of us laughing at him, laughter he subconsciously did not hear, Gilmore took off down the hallway screaming "I AM MAGIC!".

To this day we still hound him by screaming 'I AM MAGIC!' when something

unexplainable happens.

God I love the web

What my Girlfriend would look like on South Park

My Girlfriend?

Hilarious

Epic blond

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer
persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Lessons to learn

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect, you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she maked you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.
-- Wisest words I've ever heard, Bob Marley

I originally read this way back when. This quote has taught me a lot about relationships. If someone ever asked me about relationships, this is what I'd tell them.

I stray from the message sometimes, I'm not a perfect companion, I have my niches. Thats why I have to read this every now and then to put everything in perspective.

If everyone knew this quote, men and women, the drama would end. People wouldn't let petty jealousy get in the way, jealousy of their past, present and future deeds.