Dear World,

Dear World and God by extension,

I would like to register a complaint. Recently I have been using your product Life and I noticed some kinks in it. I'm not mad, I love your products like Megan Fox and Genitalia, some of the best stuff out there! But I notice the more I try to get my Life working I fall on some pretty complicated problems.

For example. I work on it a lot but it appears I am not making any money!? Is this because I bought the College expansion? This is the biggest problem for me and most of your consumers. I'm told in the end - that the expansion will pay off in the long run, but it looks like it will take years to download. Also I picked the Bachelor download method, is that a bad choice?

Also I noticed that on the side of the box of Life you wrote a customer service and trouble shooting number, but the calling hours are inconvenient and the instructions for "asking for assistance" are odd. It's either I call you at night, on my knees, beside my bed. OR I show up at a giant communal home on Sundays, full of gossiping women and angry men to attend a seminar where all they do is recite anecdotes and read out of a book. I attended one of these seminars with my problems, and all they told me was that the owner of World co. would fix it if I just wait. But I don't have time.

Complaint number 3: Sorry if I sound rude but... I notice that there are people in power who don't deserve their position. Like my supervisor at work named Kevin, he's a bit of a perverted ass-nugget, and if he suddenly disappears no one will complain. No one. Really. No one.

So if you can just fix my money problem, speed up my success, and make it easier to search for help, it would really help.

Oh and before I forget, please try to keep Brenden Fraser OFF the camera.

Thank you

Brad Jamison